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 Porn Addiction- Biblical Grounds for Divorce? |
Da Sheik |
In recent years, I have counseled a number of married couples in crisis. A recurring theme is that there is often a problem with the husband and porn addiction. In accordance with Jesus' teaching in Matthew 5:28, do you believe this would be biblical grounds for a wife to seek a divorce?
I have my own thoughts, but I would be curious to know what the consensus here is. |
Acts Enthusiast
Posts: 1865
3/9/19 12:12 pm
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Eddie Robbins |
| What is porn? How long did they look at it? How do you know? Too many questions to be giving the OK for someone to file for divorce, IMHO. |
Acts-pert Poster
Posts: 16509
3/9/19 12:53 pm
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Da Sheik |
| In a couple of the instances I was referencing earlier, the men were unrepentant and defiant. So for discussion’s sake, let’s assume we know what “porn†is and that there is an ongoing pattern of viewing it without consideration of the wife’s feelings. |
Acts Enthusiast
Posts: 1865
3/9/19 8:55 pm
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| Sounds like you have a believer and un-believer |
caseyleejones |
| situation which falls under a different text. |
Acts-perienced Poster
Posts: 11798
3/10/19 11:57 am
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| Re: Sounds like you have a believer and un-believer |
Dave Dorsey |
| caseyleejones wrote: | | situation which falls under a different text. |
I agree with this assessment.
If the husband was repentant, I could still see it as grounds for divorce, but I would personally beg and plead for a wife (or husband) to stand with their spouse in that case. |
[Insert Acts Pun Here]
Posts: 13654
3/10/19 1:34 pm
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Redneck |
| Da Sheik wrote: | | In a couple of the instances I was referencing earlier, the men were unrepentant and defiant. So for discussion’s sake, let’s assume we know what “porn†is and that there is an ongoing pattern of viewing it without consideration of the wife’s feelings. |
Those to words speak volumes. That would make me feel that divorce is inevitable. No way this marriage can make it without repentance.
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That haircut of yorn may be citified, but your heart was shaped in a bowl.....................Briscoe Darling |
Acts-celerater
Posts: 664
3/10/19 5:49 pm
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Resident Skeptic |
Frances is very open on her show that what Jimmy had was an addictive disorder that he sought treatment for, and that is why she stood by him.
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"It is doubtful if any Trinitarian Pentecostals have ever professed to believe in three gods, and Oneness Pentecostals should not claim that they do." - Daniel Segraves UPCI |
Acts-dicted
Posts: 8065
3/10/19 7:59 pm
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diakoneo |
| Is it really addiction? |
Golf Cart Mafia Consigliere
Posts: 3382
3/11/19 5:16 am
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Dave Dorsey |
| diakoneo wrote: | | Is it really addiction? |
Yes. Porn stimulates the same areas of the brain as addictive drugs. See https://fightthenewdrug.org/how-porn-affects-the-brain-like-a-drug/ and https://fightthenewdrug.org/how-porn-changes-the-brain/ to learn more.
That doesn't mean the sin is excusable, or should be excused, any more than we would excuse the sin of an alcoholic or a heroin addict. It does mean that a Christian man who uses porn and wants to stop is not only locked into a cycle of sin and shame, but also locked into a physiological cycle in which his own mind and body are fighting against his heart's desire to change. He needs the power of God and the love, support, and compassion of Christian brothers to break free. |
[Insert Acts Pun Here]
Posts: 13654
3/11/19 5:36 am
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| My opinion? |
roughridercog |
I believe it could be more of a reason for divorce rather than grounds.
Just my opinion.
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Doctor of Bovinamodulation |
Acts Mod
Posts: 25305
3/11/19 5:48 am
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Nature Boy Florida |
All addictions tough to break.
A desire to break it would be an important consideration.
But let's face facts.
Divorce is so common in the church today, with minister's themselves going into "new seasons" - I would suspect most folks need a lot less than this as "grounds" for divorce.
And besides - give it a few years - psychologists will tell us it is actually the "normal" way for man to view naked ladies (or men of course).
We've "normalized" everything else. And church leaders will jump on the bandwagon as well, explaining: Weren't all the women in the Garden of Eden naked all the time? Then it's God's way don't you know.
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Whether you like it or not, learn to love it, because its the best thing going today! |
Acts-pert Poster
Posts: 16646
3/11/19 7:18 am
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UncleJD |
| Is the modern church's teaching on divorce sending people to hell? Personally I'd rather err on the side of marriage, at least until it was clear that the addiction was too destructive to allow the marriage to survive (part of the definition of which would be the addict unwilling to reform) |
Golf Cart Mafia Consigliere
Posts: 3147
3/11/19 8:20 am
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Link |
I would say no. Man and woman are one flesh. Adultery of the heart is not the same as physical adultery, but it is a sin against the Lord.
Looking at porn is not the sin. Looking with an intention to lust is a sin. (And of course, what is the point of looking at porn except to lust in 99.999999% of cases.)
If looking at porn is grounds for divorce, what about the man who goes to the beach and finds himself looking at a pretty woman in a bikini and then averts his eyes, once. Did he commit adultery? What about the wife who finds herself thinking some dude has a 'cute butt.' (I really don't get what could make a guys butt look cute, but I have heard that.) Does the husband have a right to divorce her.
We live in a sexually immoral society. The porn is sexually immoral, but so is the rampant divorce and remarriage with no regard for what Jesus actually taught.
I saw a video of a man speaking in a church about how video games can cause a dopamine rush, and especially viewing porn online. There are men who will view porn. You'd think that would rev them up and they'd want to have sex with their wives, but a lot of these men look at porn and masturbate and deprive their wives sexually.
It's a terrible thing. It's immoral. But I really think you ought to send the guy for help. A minority of porn viewers are women, but there are plenty of women who watch it, too. Several years ago, I heard a standup commedian talking about some themes in porn, and the audience was laughing and carrying on like they watched it to. They don't even seemed ashamed of it.
Another idea I read online was that refusing your spouse is 'sexual immorality' and gives them the right to divorce you. This seems to come about from the translators choice of translating porneia as 'sexual immorality.' Shutting your spouse down for sex is immoral, and it's related to sex, so it is sexual immorality. But it is not 'porneia.' Not having sex isn't 'whoring around.'
We've got too many people looking for reasons for divorce. The list has grown far beyond what the Bible teaches to include verbal abuse, porn addiction, not supporting the pastor's ministry call, etc.
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Acts-perienced Poster
Posts: 11849
3/29/19 1:29 pm
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