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What is a Pastor suppose to look like?

Acts Enthusiast Posts: 1050 **12/28/16 10:59 am**

I was visiting a member of my church in an assisted living facility who had just moved in yesterday. Her daughter and son-in-law along with the administrator of the facility was in her room, but she wasn't. We do ministry at this facility and the administrator was very friendly as always to me. She excused herself from the room and then the daughter asked me who I was. I told her I was her mom's Pastor and was there to see if she had gotten settle in okay. Her next words about floored me, she said, "YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE A PASTOR!" I asked her what was a Pastor supposed to look like, but she ignored my question and proceeded asking me several other questions. I was waiting for her to pull out a waterboard, because I felt like I was being interrogated. I had met this lady last year at another hospital, because her mother was having surgery and I was there till her mother was in the recovery room after her surgery.

I didn't have my three piece suit on and wasn't carrying my family Bible, but I wasn't dressed like a bum either. I had on dark jeans without holes or faded spots, a nice dark sweatshirt with a white dress shirt on underneath and clean black tennis shoes. I took her questioning me for not looking like a Pastor in her opinion, because of my attire, so I proceeded telling her that clothes doesn't always make the man.

When I got home, I told my wife what had happen, so I am now in the market for a flowing black robe and a white collar to wear backwards, because I guess that is what Pastors are supposed to wear, so people will know they are a Pastor.

Has anything like this happened to you? It was a first for me.

[Insert Acts Pun Here] Posts: 14803 **12/28/16 11:42 am**

Well, if a stranger showed up to see my Mom, I'd want to know a thing or two about him myself regardless of how he was dressed.

There are two angles in her questions. One might have been that she didn't think a pastor would dress the way you did and she thought you should have dressed differently. The other might have been that since you didn't fit the profile of what she expected, she wanted to make sure you were who you said you were before she let you see her mother.
The best response probably would have been to assume the latter and introduce yourself to her, giving her information about yourself and about your church and your relationship with her mother.

[Insert Acts Pun Here] Posts: 12817 **12/28/16 11:57 am**

I haven't been subjected to that particular kind of questioning before, but being bivocational, I have had a coworker or two in the past who basically made light of Christianity, insinuating that I was nothing but a scam artist because my faith was itself a scam. Defending your faith in such a situation, while crucial, requires a lot of confidence, patience and wisdom in Christ, in my experience.

Motorcycle helmet

Golf Cart Mafia Soldier Posts: 2447 **12/28/16 12:18 pm**

The first few times when I would ride my motorcycle to the hospital to make a pastoral visit, the lady at the front desk told me , I did not look like a pastor.

She got used to it after a while. I did get a funny look when I told her that I had named my motorcycle, Visitation.

Acts Enthusiast Posts: 1865 **12/28/16 12:21 pm**

I have a clergy badge for all the major hospitals in my region. I wear it regardless if I'm wearing slacks or jeans. That alleviates any anxiety from family members or hospital staff.

[Insert Acts Pun Here] Posts: 14803 **12/28/16 12:35 pm**

Well, they have probably already guessed that you are a religious man from the red turban. Razz

We are a small rural town

Acts Enthusiast Posts: 1050 **12/28/16 1:10 pm**

and no one uses clergy badges here. I have had them in the past in larger cities and they were very useful.

Acts Enthusiast Posts: 1865 **12/28/16 1:13 pm**

I could see this as well

Acts Enthusiast Posts: 1050 **12/28/16 1:23 pm**

if the administrator had not been in the room and acknowledge me and I had not sat in a waiting room with this lady and her siblings for three hours the previous year. I don't think that I was dressed misappropriate for a casual visit. I was shocked that this daughter was even there due to the fact that she and her mother doesn't get along very well.

I could see this as well

Acts Enthusiast Posts: 1050 **12/28/16 1:25 pm**

if the administrator had not been in the room and acknowledge me and I had not sat in a waiting room with this lady and her siblings for three hours the previous year. I don't think that I was dressed misappropriate for a casual visit. I was shocked that this daughter was even there due to the fact that she and her mother doesn't get along very well.

Jeans, Sweatshirt, Tennis Shoes

Acts-celerater Posts: 875 **12/28/16 3:03 pm**

No matter how clean they were and how nice you looked, jeans, a sweatshirt, and tennis shoes are probably considered under-dressed for a minister. I am a very casual pastor and never wear a suit except for funeral's and weddings, but in a hospital I wear khaki slacks and a button-down shirt and nice casual shoes. It is not uncommon for me to interact with doctors, nurses, or other caregivers and I want to represent my profession as best I can.

I know I would not appreciate my doctor coming to see me in jeans, a sweatshirt, and tennis shoes. Yes, it's cultural. No, it doesn't affect one's ability to pray or visit, but sometimes professionalism opens a door and adds to one's ministry. It can remove barriers and cause one to be taken seriously and with more respect.

Re: I could see this as well

[Insert Acts Pun Here] Posts: 14803 **12/28/16 3:21 pm**

You said she asked who you were. I would assume from that she didn't recognize you.

Re: Jeans, Sweatshirt, Tennis Shoes

[Insert Acts Pun Here] Posts: 14803 **12/28/16 3:23 pm**

some good points to consider...

Re: Jeans, Sweatshirt, Tennis Shoes

Acts Enthusiast Posts: 1050 **12/28/16 5:22 pm**

You make my attire sound worst than it was, I was more dressed up in jeans, sweatshirt, white dress shirt, and tennis shoes than most pastors are on Sunday mornings. This outfit wasn't something that I wear to mow the yard or paint in, I had been out for most of the day buying coats for a few kids that don't have one and didn't think going to an assisted living facility that our church ministers in and most of the people know me there wouldn't be a big deal and it wasn't to those that live there.

If I had shown up at these kids home wearing "professional clothing" I would have been over dressed and might have given their parents the impression that I was better than they.

If we should be required to wear what is consider to be appropriate clothing for visitations, then we better clean up our act in the pulpit and dress more appropriate preaching the word of God. I as well normally dress more business casual for hospital visitations. I normally wear suits on Sundays. My doctor wears jeans and tennis shoes, I guess I need to find me a new doctor.

If Khaki's are now considered professional dress, then times have really changed.

I am very conscience about my appearance in public, because I represent Christ first and then my church.

Golf Cart Mafia Capo Famiglia Posts: 4682 **12/28/16 8:54 pm**

I wear similar clothes during the week & during hospital visits.
I think if it were a similar situation I might have answered her question like this, "oh, I'm Pastor Ernie, the pastor of Sis. ________ and you are ?"
You might have known she was the daughter or maybe you didn't but facts are you see the dear woman far more often than the daughter does, so why not turn it around on her?
Now that I've said this, you watch, it will happen to me now haha.
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01000001 01100011 01110100 01110011 Posts: 24285 **12/28/16 10:29 pm**

01000001 01100011 01110100 01110011 Posts: 24285 **12/28/16 10:31 pm**

Re: I could see this as well

Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology Posts: 5923 **12/28/16 10:44 pm**

Re: What is a Pastor suppose to look like?

Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology Posts: 6385 **12/29/16 10:15 pm**

Re: What is a Pastor suppose to look like?

Acts-pert Poster Posts: 15570 **12/30/16 5:56 am**