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Need your prayers

Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology Posts: 5923 **3/24/19 7:05 pm**

Hey everyone...I could use your prayers in the days to come re: a work situation. Things have been "off" for a few months now, and I wasn't sure what was happening, but it has finally come out that my office-mate, the woman I share a space with, is angry with me and actually is pretty disgusted with me. She is good friends with another secretary, also, and they are both pretty much ignoring me at this point.

For the last year that we have been sharing a space, I have been doing things that annoy/bother her, and she hasn't said a word. Well, it all came pouring out this week when I attempted to apologize for what I thought was a misunderstanding. But instead of her accepting my apology, she insists that I was sending a hidden message that it was her turn to do what the discussion about was about. I am not used to being called a liar to my face. Some of the things she said were very unpleasant. I didn't come prepared to defend myself, as I was seeking peace. Well, she is having none of it. She is barely speaking to me.

It's very difficult to maintain a good attitude when the person sharing your space is actively ignoring you. The first few days I took it very personally & was in tears more than once. She thinks I am not working hard enough and my bosses are switching up some of my responsibilities, which was already in the works. I start that tomorrow. I also moved my computer facing in a different direction.

My pastor shared in Bible Study on Wednesday that we can't cast away our confidence in trials, and I realized I was responding by my emotions instead of letting my spirit man be in charge. It has given me a new attitude, and I am trying to act as if nothing is wrong. I am gonna be who I am. I will try to change the things that annoy her if I can (like talking to myself or singing/whistling, which I am usually unaware of.) But I am who I am, and I'm not going to back down if there's nothing wrong with it.

Please help me pray that God resolves this situation and gives me the grace and wisdom to behave myself wisely. I am certainly not perfect and can stand some improvement, and I will work on that, but I think God is going to have to deal with her heart for things to change.
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[Insert Acts Pun Here] Posts: 13654 **3/24/19 7:26 pm**

Carolyn, I went through this with a co-worker for about a year before he thankfully left. My situation was very similar -- a TOTAL misunderstanding that was completely his fault. He got chewed out by our boss for something he was doing. I was trying to give him a heads-up about it, but he thought I knew about it and actively keeping him in the dark. I approached him the same way you did, looking to make amends without any conditions, and got the same result. He wouldn't have any of it and decided he would just completely actively ignore me. I can absolutely relate and empathize with what an awful, toxic workplace that type of behavior creates.

I will absolutely pray for you, but please consider talking to your superiors as well about the behavior. It is totally unacceptable, and in retrospect, I wish I had talked to my superiors about it when I had the chance. That doesn't have to happen at the expense of you living a Christlike example before her. Of course, I trust that you will make the decision that is best. I will be praying for you.

01000001 01100011 01110100 01110011 Posts: 24285 **3/24/19 7:51 pm**

Prayers here Carolyn. We know God id good. We also know nothing falls our way that we cannot handle. BUT that doesn't make the 'time' move any faster to a conclusion.
Our best with prayer to you lady.
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Acts-pert Poster Posts: 16509 **3/24/19 8:22 pm**

Iâ€™m so sorry. Itâ€™s stressful enough without that mess. Take the high road. Be nice and do whatâ€™s right. I already know you will. Prayers!

Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology Posts: 5923 **3/24/19 10:38 pm**

Friendly Face Posts: 434 **3/25/19 5:38 am**

Praying for you Carolyn.

Acts-pert Poster Posts: 16646 **3/25/19 7:04 am**

I like it when people I dislike ignore me. I don't have to be pleasant or do any small talk. Pressures off.

Of course that's just me.

Carolyn, I hope they fire that chump causing you problems.
_________________
Whether you like it or not, learn to love it, because its the best thing going today!

[Insert Acts Pun Here] Posts: 13654 **3/25/19 7:08 am**

Carolyn, unfortunately she has to be smacked....

Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology Posts: 6042 **3/25/19 7:16 am**

I don't 'need to tell you that women NEVER forgive (at least that's what Mrs. Hughes, my 5th grade teacher implied when she said she'd rather teach boys than girls). So, that being SCIENTIFICALLY the case, you have go to Home Depot and buy a ball peen hammer....

Then, THE VERY NEXT TIME SHE OPENS HER MOUTH, conk her on the head with the hammer. Over time, this will create a Pavlovian response so that every time she gets ready to open her mouth to you, she will feel a hard thud on her head...all while you sit there looking busy (and, of course, smiling to yourself).

So, there. I have solved this problem for you.

SERIOUSLY, though, it is extremely difficult to "win back" someone who has allowed such bitterness and anger to fester. She may apologize. You may forgive her. But neither of you are apt to forget it.

Men? They might eventually become best buds. Women are a much more difficult case.

I am ACTIVELY ignoring NBF....

Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology Posts: 6042 **3/25/19 7:20 am**

Acts-dicted Posts: 7604 **3/25/19 12:17 pm**

Re: Carolyn, unfortunately she has to be smacked....

Acts-dicted Posts: 7604 **3/25/19 12:20 pm**

Georgiapath...

Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology Posts: 6042 **3/25/19 7:40 pm**

It has become my...my...counseling tool of choice. So far, it has worked a whole lot better than just talking things over.

Re: Carolyn, unfortunately she has to be smacked....

01000001 01100011 01110100 01110011 Posts: 24285 **3/25/19 8:31 pm**

Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology Posts: 5923 **3/25/19 9:10 pm**

Thanks for praying & encouraging me. I appreciate that!

Man, some of you are hard core! I do not want this lady fired and the ball peen hammer is a definite NO, Aaron! I will take your comments as big brothers looking out for your sister in the Lord, but WOW! I just want peace, y'all!

The no talking is seriously getting on my nerves, but I am doing my best to stay focused on my work and not let it get to me too much. I am more like Dave...it bugs me.

The comment about women getting along reminds me of comments Perry Stone made in a message about how different men & women are. He said 2 men could get angry about something, have a fist fight, and once done, go out to eat together later. They are over it. But women tend to hold a grudge and can sit across the church from each other 10 years without speaking! Smile

This is NOT me! I am the kind of person that will just say, "Are you upset with me?" and apologize or try to work it out. I just don't know what to do with someone who refuses to do that and insists their judgment of me is correct. So I am leaving it in God's hands and praying and asking God to show me what to do, if anything.

My daddy used to say, "If they get mad, they'll get glad again." I sure hope he is right!

Thanks again for praying.
_________________
"More of Him...less of me."
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Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology Posts: 6042 **3/26/19 7:22 am**

Re: Georgiapath...

Acts-dicted Posts: 7604 **3/26/19 9:24 am**

Acts-dicted Posts: 7604 **3/26/19 9:38 am**

Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology Posts: 5923 **3/26/19 10:29 pm**

[Insert Acts Pun Here] Posts: 13654 **3/27/19 4:33 am**