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 JLarry... |
Aaron Scott |
| Good point! It might be that Facebook will create a new way of doing things. |
Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology
Posts: 6042
12/25/15 8:48 pm
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bonnie knox |
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I don't doubt that Hillary and Bill have experienced part of this...and that her refusal to give up her last name was a signal of caution. Yes, Bill might have been just as much unfaithful otherwise, but perhaps difficulties in their union provided him with the weak excuse for his actions? |
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Posts: 14803
12/25/15 9:33 pm
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Maybe different fields are different, but I don't know why an academic would need to have people figure out her maiden name pubs are from the same author as her post-married name. She could submit her publications with her tenure application. I don't see how it would hurt chances of getting tenure or full professor since her co-workers would probably know she got married. Maybe other fields are different.
The dentist could keep her practice under her maiden name and still change her name. if people make checks out to her business, her name doesn't have to match. She could keep her maiden name as her middle name and her name change paperwork. Actresses don't have to use their stage names as their legal name do they?
I didn't know the Spanish hyphenated last names. I read about some long Mexican names that included Cortez and Montezuma. I think it was Cortez who had an illegitimate child with one of Montezuma's descendants. Both names were impressive in early Mexico, so some of their descendants had long names that incorporated both Cortez' and Montezuma's names. It's ironic since Cortez conquered Montezuma.
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Posts: 11849
12/25/15 10:25 pm
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Dave Dorsey |
| Not academics. Researchers or analysts working in government or corporate jobs. |
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Posts: 13654
12/25/15 11:31 pm
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bonnie knox |
I get the idea that some of you think you did your wife a favor by marrying her. 
My brother-in-law liked to say he married his wife, brought her to Raleigh, and bought her a pair of shoes. Someone would invariably add, "And put a little dirt inside the shoes so she would feel at home."
No, it's probably not a good idea for a woman who intends to keep her last name to marry a guy who thinks he is the "manager" of the relationship or who thinks that if he makes more money that he should have more power in the relationship. |
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12/27/15 2:23 pm
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bonnie knox |
| Mary Matalin (who is married to James Carville--a weird match if I've ever heard of one) goes by her maiden name. |
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Posts: 14803
12/27/15 2:27 pm
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| bonnie knox wrote: | I get the idea that some of you think you did your wife a favor by marrying her.
My brother-in-law liked to say he married his wife, brought her to Raleigh, and bought her a pair of shoes. Someone would invariably add, "And put a little dirt inside the shoes so she would feel at home."
No, it's probably not a good idea for a woman who intends to keep her last name to marry a guy who thinks he is the "manager" of the relationship or who thinks that if he makes more money that he should have more power in the relationship. |
Honestly, I think my wife and I did each other a favor by marrying each other. We were both very appreciative, especially to the Lord for bringing us together, when we got married.
I think any Christian man would do well to steer clear of women who aren't willing to submit to their husbands or who think they should have power over their husbands if they make more money than their husbands. Income doesn't change what the Bible says about wives submitting to their husbands and the husband being the head of the wife.
A lot of Christian women do want their husbands to lead, especially when it comes to spiritual things, like inviting the wife to pray and study the Bible, and later down the road, leading family devotions with the kids and things like that. That seems to be a common complaint or concern from Christian women... wanting their husbands to lead more.
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Posts: 11849
12/27/15 6:53 pm
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bonnie knox |
| Quote: |
I think any Christian man would do well to steer clear of women who aren't willing to submit to their husbands or who think they should have power over their husbands if they make more money than their husbands. |
There doesn't have to be a power struggle with either one or the other being in power. Why is this the first thing that comes to mind when I suggest that a woman would be better off not to marry a man who equates higher income with power in the relationship?? Really, why are Christians equating income with power in relationships?? |
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12/27/15 7:08 pm
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bonnie knox |
| Quote: | | Income doesn't change what the Bible says about wives submitting to their husbands and the husband being the head of the wife. |
Nor does it change the verse that says all believers are to submit to one another. (1 Peter 5:5, Galatians 5:13) |
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12/27/15 7:13 pm
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Dave Dorsey |
| Link wrote: | | Honestly, I think my wife and I did each other a favor by marrying each other. We were both very appreciative, especially to the Lord for bringing us together, when we got married. |
Amen! |
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12/27/15 7:19 pm
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bonnie knox |
I've come across other examples of women keeping their maiden names--one is Megyn Kelly. I think a local TV personality also kept her same name when she got married (or is at least referred to that on air).
I occasionally read stuff by a yurt-dwelling, off-the-grid, believer who uses her maiden name. If you look at all she has submitted to with her husband's homesteading ideas, I don't think you would call her rebellious. (Ha, then again, maybe YOU would because she is sort egalitarian in her views.)
http://www.estheremery.com/meet-esther/
I came across another example just yesterday in reading about an art exhibition that is being displayed at a museum in Raleigh. It is from a collection by Dr. Everette James and Dr. Nancy Farmer: "Dr. James is a dedicated historian and philanthropist who has guest-curated many exhibitions and published more than 500 articles and 20 books. His wife, Dr. Farmer, is a distinguished educator who is active in many cultural programs throughout the state. She is a dedicated philanthropic partner in managing their collections. The couple has generously donated portions of their collections to museums and other cultural institutions throughout the country and abroad."
Boy, does Dr. Farmer sound like a rebellious sort that would give a husband lots of trouble! |
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Posts: 14803
12/27/15 7:23 pm
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bonnie knox |
| Quote: | | A lot of Christian women do want their husbands to lead, especially when it comes to spiritual things, like inviting the wife to pray and study the Bible, and later down the road, leading family devotions with the kids and things like that. That seems to be a common complaint or concern from Christian women... wanting their husbands to lead more. |
I've met a woman or two like that. I don't really "get" it. |
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Posts: 14803
12/27/15 7:30 pm
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| bonnie knox wrote: | | Quote: |
I think any Christian man would do well to steer clear of women who aren't willing to submit to their husbands or who think they should have power over their husbands if they make more money than their husbands. |
There doesn't have to be a power struggle with either one or the other being in power. Why is this the first thing that comes to mind when I suggest that a woman would be better off not to marry a man who equates higher income with power in the relationship?? Really, why are Christians equating income with power in relationships?? |
I dunno. You brought it up. I flipped the genders on your comment.
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Posts: 11849
12/28/15 6:41 am
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bonnie knox |
| Quote: | | I dunno. You brought it up. I flipped the genders on your comment. |
Yes, I saw what you did; my question was why?
Why is a woman dominating a man seen as the only alternative to a man dominating a woman?
No, I wasn't the one who brought up the issue of income. Another poster suggested that if a woman refused to take her husband's last name, she should not share the financial assets--as if a woman gives up her name in exchange for finances. |
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Posts: 14803
12/28/15 9:54 am
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bonnie knox |
| Quote: | | My other concern would be that if she doesn't want to take his last name, she might not think marriage will last. Why change your name if you are going to change it back in a couple of years anyway? Having the same family name communicates "We are family." |
Given the high rate of divorce amongst women who take their husbands' last names, I think this reasoning doesn't hold water. |
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Posts: 14803
12/28/15 10:00 am
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bonnie knox |
| bonnie knox wrote: | | Quote: | | I dunno. You brought it up. I flipped the genders on your comment. |
Yes, I saw what you did; my question was why?
Why is a woman dominating a man seen as the only alternative to a man dominating a woman?
No, I wasn't the one who brought up the issue of income. Another poster suggested that if a woman refused to take her husband's last name, she should not share the financial assets--as if a woman gives up her name in exchange for finances. |
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12/28/15 10:01 am
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bonnie knox |
It is pervasive.
Thanks for the response.
| Tom Sterbens wrote: | | bonnie knox wrote: |
There doesn't have to be a power struggle with either one or the other being in power. Why is this the first thing that comes to mind when I suggest that a woman would be better off not to marry a man who equates higher income with power in the relationship?? Really, why are Christians equating income with power in relationships?? |
Serious/sincere response: Because as I've stated numerous times, as we approach the husband/wife relationship our typical/default thinking is RULE, not REDEMPTION. It is indeed about "power." And for me that thinking is evidence of a cursed mentality - a mentality that is born with the language and curse of Genesis 3:14-19.
Jesus reversed that as the powerFUL(Jesus/God) submits to redeem the powerLESS(mankind) - also previously stated, in this thread. |
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Posts: 14803
12/28/15 10:02 am
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bonnie knox |
| Link wrote: | | As a man, it felt good to me to know that my wife wanted to take my last name. It's better if your wife feels honored that you would want to give you her name. |
You objected that I suggested that some think they did their wife a favor by marrying her, but the above statement indicates that. |
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12/28/15 10:10 am
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bonnie knox |
| Quote: | | Taking his name signifies commitment and taking on the identity of his wife, joining his clan, being his helpmeet, and lots of other good stuff like that. It's a cultural thing, more than a Biblical one. But not wanting to take his name could show some problems with accepting some Biblical principles about marriage. |
Insisting that she change her name might show also some problems with Biblical principles about marriage. We must claim "Biblical" for our side of the argument at all costs.
We must claim "Biblical" even if a woman who retains her maiden name is committed to the relationship.
We must claim "Biblical" about her joining his clan even if Jesus said a man would leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife.
We must claim "Biblical" even if we have to make up words like "helpmeet."
To make the nebulous charge that a refusal to take his last name "could show some problems with accepting some Biblical principles about marriage" is an emotional appeal to fear. |
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12/28/15 10:20 am
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bonnie knox |
| Quote: | | And if you hyphenate your last name, and your kids married people with hyphenated last names, your grandkids could end up with a name like Smith-Johns-Philip-Cortez. |
Fear mongering. |
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Posts: 14803
12/28/15 10:22 am
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