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 Christian counseling and narcissism |
Resident Skeptic |
Are Christian counselors sometimes ignorant or insensitive when it comes to the victims of narcissist relationships (friend, sibling, marital)?
Do we sometimes admonish those victims with the "seventy times seven in one day" passage, admonishing them to be the "bigger person and pick up the phone" without considering the abusive nature of narcissists?
Do we sometimes reject labeling people with psychological terms like "narcissists" all in the name of "rejecting worldly psychology?"
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"It is doubtful if any Trinitarian Pentecostals have ever professed to believe in three gods, and Oneness Pentecostals should not claim that they do." - Daniel Segraves UPCI |
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4/29/20 10:16 am
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| Re: Christian counseling and narcissism |
skinnybishop |
| Resident Skeptic wrote: | Are Christian counselors sometimes ignorant or insensitive when it comes to the victims of narcissist relationships (friend, sibling, marital)?
Do we sometimes admonish those victims with the "seventy times seven in one day" passage, admonishing them to be the "bigger person and pick up the phone" without considering the abusive nature of narcissists?
Do we sometimes reject labeling people with psychological terms like "narcissists" all in the name of "rejecting worldly psychology?" |
I went to see a Christian counselor, about a narcissist I was dealing with. He did not take the approach you describe. After examining the content of several texts we traded, the counselor told me, basically to get meaner.
I was being the "70x7" guy....going out of my way to be kind. The other guy just wouldn't leave well enough alone, so the counselor told me to politely, but firmly tell him to buzz off.
It was a wonderful feeling to be free of "niceness", to prevent being mistreated.
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Eddie Wiggins |
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4/29/20 11:40 am
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Carolyn Smith |
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Cojak |
It is easy to see some narcissist are way out of their element of importance, I am not a counselor so I tolerate or ignore them. My problem is when the person is actually very successful at most things they attempt, even become CEOs. They cannot wait for someone to brag on them, they must do it themselves. I was very close to a person like that. For me, that end of it is so hard to understand. Someone with a brain and cannot see he is boring friends and clients to distraction.
That probably has nothing to do with the subject, and may not even be narcissism, sorry. 
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4/29/20 7:11 pm
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Resident Skeptic |
| Cojak wrote: | It is easy to see some narcissist are way out of their element of importance, I am not a counselor so I tolerate or ignore them. My problem is when the person is actually very successful at most things they attempt, even become CEOs. They cannot wait for someone to brag on them, they must do it themselves. I was very close to a person like that. For me, that end of it is so hard to understand. Someone with a brain and cannot see he is boring friends and clients to distraction.
That probably has nothing to do with the subject, and may not even be narcissism, sorry. |
No, you are on the right track. However, i find the covert narcisit more intriguing of a study.
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"It is doubtful if any Trinitarian Pentecostals have ever professed to believe in three gods, and Oneness Pentecostals should not claim that they do." - Daniel Segraves UPCI |
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4/29/20 7:32 pm
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| Re: Christian counseling and narcissism |
Link |
| skinnybishop wrote: |
I was being the "70x7" guy....going out of my way to be kind. The other guy just wouldn't leave well enough alone, so the counselor told me to politely, but firmly tell him to buzz off.
It was a wonderful feeling to be free of "niceness", to prevent being mistreated. |
Did you forgive him and tell him to buzz off?
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Link |
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4/30/20 12:47 am
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Preacher777 |
| A good Christian or secular counselor will encourage people to forgive yet have healthy boundaries that do not allow a narcissist to trample over a person. Would a loving father encourage his daughter to have a relationship with a narcissist? Once a person understands the love of God it is natural to know that He wants us in healthy relationships. |
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4/30/20 7:10 am
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| Re: Christian counseling and narcissism |
skinnybishop |
| Link wrote: | | skinnybishop wrote: |
I was being the "70x7" guy....going out of my way to be kind. The other guy just wouldn't leave well enough alone, so the counselor told me to politely, but firmly tell him to buzz off.
It was a wonderful feeling to be free of "niceness", to prevent being mistreated. |
Did you forgive him and tell him to buzz off? |
"Buzz off" was hyperbole.
I actually didn't have to tell the person anything. After I set some boundaries between us, he made up a scenario in his mind, about me, and spread that narrative in our community. That irritated me, but I got over it. Everyone knew his stories weren't true, and it didn't hurt my reputation a bit.
Eventually he left me alone, which is all I wanted in the first place.
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Eddie Wiggins |
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4/30/20 10:42 am
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| Re: Christian counseling and narcissism |
Resident Skeptic |
| skinnybishop wrote: | | Link wrote: | | skinnybishop wrote: |
I was being the "70x7" guy....going out of my way to be kind. The other guy just wouldn't leave well enough alone, so the counselor told me to politely, but firmly tell him to buzz off.
It was a wonderful feeling to be free of "niceness", to prevent being mistreated. |
Did you forgive him and tell him to buzz off? |
"Buzz off" was hyperbole.
I actually didn't have to tell the person anything. After I set some boundaries between us, he made up a scenario in his mind, about me, and spread that narrative in our community. That irritated me, but I got over it. Everyone knew his stories weren't true, and it didn't hurt my reputation a bit.
Eventually he left me alone, which is all I wanted in the first place. |
Well, everyone's replies have been encouraging.
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"It is doubtful if any Trinitarian Pentecostals have ever professed to believe in three gods, and Oneness Pentecostals should not claim that they do." - Daniel Segraves UPCI |
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Posts: 8065
4/30/20 4:16 pm
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