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Special needs type folks & what to do

Golf Cart Mafia Capo Famiglia Posts: 4682 **2/13/16 6:43 pm**

It seems we have become the local hangout on Sunday mornings & we're kinda overrun with special needs types. Not being insensitive with these words but it's very distracting to have so many of them & I've had a few complaints here lately, like:
Coming in late.
Talking out loud during the message or if someone makes an announcement of some kind.
Talking to each other in service out loud.
Going to the bathroom multiple times.
Getting up walking around.
Also walking around looking for some place else to sit & often it happens multiple times per service.
Rushing the platform during altar call & asking prayer for trivial matters.
Crowding around staff members or pastors who can't speak to those who really are in need.
They want to sit on the front row or near the front.
Some are extra needy & can begin moving around & don't want to be touched or guided to their seat.

Keep in mind:
They offer nothing in terms of help.
They never give a hand to help or volunteer for simple things.
Even if they offer to help it's usually above their ability to comprehend the need.
No help financially.
Always asking for anything they can get from food to pencils or paper.
Body odor issues & sometimes general hygiene issues.

I'm not going to mistreat them nor ask them to leave but maybe somebody has an idea as to how I can corral them or better manage them.
If I had a place for them to go to class it would take quite the authority person to do the job & with helpers at that.
We probably have about 10 to 12 per service in a morning worship of about 125 people - very distracting at times.

Any ideas?

.
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Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology Posts: 5923 **2/13/16 8:34 pm**

It sounds like you need a "special needs" point person on your team. Do you have anyone/any teachers that have experience with special needs folks that could give your team extra pointers? Maybe a "special ed" teacher (they probably aren't called that anymore) or really anyone who has a heart for special needs individuals...maybe a mom/grandma who's deal with someone like this? If there isn't anyone like this in the church, perhaps you could reach out to someone in the community who could offer suggestions.
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Golf Cart Mafia Capo Famiglia Posts: 4682 **2/13/16 8:40 pm**

Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology Posts: 5923 **2/13/16 9:16 pm**

Some of those grannies know how to deal tough love! Smile

I'm glad you're not kicking these folks to the curb, but I understand how it could cause a real disruption in services...which could upset your normal attenders, etc. It's a fine line you're walking on how to show love to them while not letting them take over the service.

Prayers for wisdom & that God sends someone to help you with this dilemma.
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01000001 01100011 01110100 01110011 Posts: 24285 **2/13/16 9:42 pm**

[Insert Acts Pun Here] Posts: 12817 **2/13/16 10:36 pm**

Several years ago, at my previous pastorate, a family of 6 began attending our small congregation of 25. They had an autistic teenaged son who often blurted things out loudly (like Tourette's) and at other times would eerily whisper strange things under his breath. The mother, who was single, tearfully explained after the first service they attended that they had been asked to leave numerous other churches over the years due to the way her son behaved, and pleaded with me to allow them to keep attending our church. I told her they were welcome in our fellowship. At the next service we had when the family was not present, I explained the situation to our folks, and asked them to pray for this family, and to try to make them feel welcome among us. We were really glad to have them, what with how small we were. The family faithfully attended for several months before they moved back to their hometown. During that time, let's just say, it made conducting a service (especially preaching!) very challenging and definitely not boring!

For us the most important thing was to try to keep the church folks well informed of the boy's condition. The second thing was to exercise a lot of grace, love and patience. The third thing that really helped was the boy's mom was able to help him settle down somewhat, and to keep his outbursts in check to some extent.

In my experience, dealing with a situation like this pretty much requires a very committed and very patient adult to supervise them. Without that, it's pretty much chaotic.

Praying for you. Hopefully their families or whoever is responsible for them will be able to sit with them at least until they perhaps learn how to sit relatively quietly through a service.

01000001 01100011 01110100 01110011 Posts: 24285 **2/13/16 11:31 pm**

Golf Cart Mafia Capo Famiglia Posts: 4682 **2/17/16 3:20 pm**

Thanks everybody for the comments and suggestions.
We're having a little meeting tonight after the service to discuss what to do.
I don't want to remove them but at the same time I can't have unruly behavior.

The biggest issue right now is the loud outbursts and constant/rapid getting up, walking around, bathroom breaks & needing water or ???

We may have to remove them until we have somebody to sit with them & keep them under supervision ...they're a handful since they're all adults also.

Side note: this past Sunday it became like a carnival at times during worship & preaching with numerous complaints afterward so I'm forced to do something.
Fortunately nobody is angry but i think they're tiring of the demonstrations.
_________________
"Empty nest syndrome is for the birds!"

Email me at: SteenburghDean@gmail.com

Church planters are focused on just one thing ...introducing people to Jesus!
What are you focused on?

[Insert Acts Pun Here] Posts: 12817 **2/17/16 5:52 pm**

Praying for you, bro! It'll be alright. Just keep on asking the Lord for wisdom.

Golf Cart Mafia Capo Famiglia Posts: 4682 **2/17/16 6:07 pm**

Acts-pert Poster Posts: 16646 **2/17/16 6:22 pm**

Wow. Amazed so many come to one church.
God must believe you have the skills to handle it.

Having a separate worship place for them - and something that has a chance to appeal to them...while giving their caregivers a break would be ideal... But perhaps babysitting is the best you can do. Imagine how happy the caregivers would be to be a part of an actual service without attending to their loved one constantly.

But you probably need 1 worker for every two in attendance...and probably want to pay folks(to insure their attendance every service) from another congregation - that meets at different times would be ideal. Cause there is no way someone caring for a special needs person gets anything out of a regular service.

I would be interested in knowing how you solve this. Praying that you get a perfect match to meet their needs - and their families needs.
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