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Should I have been offended?

 
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Post Should I have been offended? Ernie Long
I have a pastor attending our church who had to close his church last month. He and I went to see friends of his that don't attend church, to invite them to ours. The guy said he would come this Sunday, but he wasn't going to wear no suit and tie. The pastor told his friend as he pointed to me, "He's the only one in the church that wears a suit and tie. There's a guy that goes there that wears sweatpants every Sunday. So, it doesn't matter what you wear."

When he said that, I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I do feel that we should wear our best to church. And the guy that wears sweatpants to church in the winter, wears gym shorts in the summer. He does have slacks and jeans he could wear, but doesn't. I believe he wears sweats just to tick his wife off, BUT I have never thought of it being a reflection on our church.

I'm not a clothesline preacher, unless you are on the platform and I will not allow sloppy dress on the platform. I don't judged anyone by what they wear to church.

I have had people in our church make comments to me, mostly the women, that they wish their husbands would dress more like me. I tell them that I see nothing wrong with the way their husbands dress and they tell me "Yeah, right."

I grew up poorer than "Job's turkey" and had to wear hand me downs and secondhand clothing. I made myself a promise that when I was able to buy my own clothes, I would never again wear what I had to wear growing up. I have always been aware of my appearance and have always tried to dress "nice" regardless of where I am going.

The joys of pastoring never end.
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2/3/17 10:51 am


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Post c6thplayer1
I agree Ernie. When you attend church you should dress respectable. If you have nothing then come as you are.

I would almost say for sure that people who come to church in sweat pants and a sloppy shirt would never go for a job interview wearing garbs like this.
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2/3/17 11:55 am


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Post bonnie knox
Quote:
If you have nothing then come as you are.


After flooding the board with all those posts, I was resolving to leave that topic alone, but there you go bringing it up again. Razz
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2/3/17 11:58 am


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Post Da Sheik
I think a lot of it is generational. I'm an older guy and so for me it's coat & tie on Sunday morning. That's what I've always done. We have two services on Sunday. The 8:45 am service is contemporary. Not many guys my age attend and none of them wearing a tie. Our 11am service is deemed the traditional service. You're gonna see more guys dressed like me there and the ladies wearing dresses or nice slacks. Not much denim in the traditional service lol. We experience the presence of God in both services.

My wife is retired now but she used to be the Human Resources administrator for a large corporation. She would often comment about how slovenly people would come in for a job interview. As the years went by, they actually had to send out an e-mail to the applicant about how to dress for the interview and get a favorable response. But again, it was primarily younger applicants that would show up in shorts and flip-flops, etc.

To answer your question: it wouldn't offend me in the least. I would be happy he wants to come to the church. And also thankful that this other pastor is actually trying to help your church grow.
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2/3/17 12:41 pm


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Post Cojak
bonnie knox wrote:
Quote:
If you have nothing then come as you are.


After flooding the board with all those posts, I was resolving to leave that topic alone, but there you go bringing it up again. Razz


Okay Bonnie, that was funny Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile
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2/3/17 2:23 pm


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Post Re: Should I have been offended? Ernie Long
Tom Sterbens wrote:
Ernie - is the clothing/dress thing a regularly reoccurring issue for you?

Here is another recent post of yours:
What is a pastor suppose [sic] to look like?


Not at all Tom. Honestly, I had forgotten all about that thread. Man, I'm just glad that the Lord doesn't bring up our past like Actscelerate people do. Wink

Maybe, you have the perfect church with the perfect pastor that has it all together. I don't and I'm not, but if you want to offer your services and resources in helping me and our church, I won't turn you down.
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2/3/17 2:38 pm


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Post Cojak
Speaking about my sister. Our family wore homemade clothes, rummage sale clothes and hand me downs. We had a cousin whose daddy was a 'super' in the mill. He had a good salary. The cousin would tell my sister, 'if you wash dishes for me, I will let you wear ONE of my sweaters today.' My sister did that many times just to wear something 'fancy.'

It must be something built in from those early days Ernie, because when my sister died, she had about fifty nice sweaters. But I never heard her mention why she did this, but I just sorta put 2 and 2 together.

Don't get me wrong, I agree with the dressing nice. I don't care for the 'actual sports attire', but see no problem with sports clothes. I do not wear a suit anymore. I am old and a little messy (LOL).

DaSheik's comment was spot on. YOU should not be insulted. Just take it as conversation. Cool
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2/3/17 2:39 pm


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Post Re: Should I have been offended? Old Time Country Preacher
Tom Sterbens wrote:
Personally, I invite people to ask questions and to point out potential patterns of behavior, or recurring perspectives I hold, that they feel may influence how I see and respond to the world around me. Very often I am blind to those kinds of things about myself.


Well, since you done gave the invitation here, Tom, let the ole timer share a pattern of behavior that could easily become harmful to ya. You got this pattern about ya that sometimes ya disagree with the ole timer on certain issues. Now ats OK, nothin wrong with it per se, lessen ya wanna be right. Ever Acts poster has the right to his/her/its/ze own opinion, even if they wrong. But to be right, a fellers must embrace Pikevillian Philosophy. So, on em few things you an me disagree on, hey, I still love ya an all, but if you really wanna reap the seven blessings of the Passover, ya gonna have to agree with the ole timer. Cool
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2/3/17 6:16 pm


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Post Old Time Country Preacher
What is kinda contradictory is when folk give more respect to earthly dignitaries than to God. For example, an I know they is always exceptions to the rule, but I'm talkin here about most sane, rational, logical folk, if they have to go to court, they dress up. If they go to a weddin, they dress up. If they go to a funeral, they dress up. If they in a custody battle for their young'uns, they dress up. BUT, they say God don't make no never mind, so they leave their sense of decency/respect at home an wear junk to church. Kinda like some a these folk Ive seen walkin round W-Mart in pajamas.

Now, far as God is concerned, if all a feller has got to wear is sweat pants an a sleeveless T-Shirt, hey, come on to church an worship. If he has a medical reason for needin to wear them sweats, wear em an come on. But IF HE HAS BETTER/NICER clothing, he oughtta at least dress casual/nice/decent/presentable. Does at gotta be a suit/tie? Nope, not at all. But it should at least be decent if a feller has better. If he don't, ats different.

Hey, a feller can worship God with nothin on but a loin cloth, but the ole timer aint about to wear just a loin cloth to church-------or anywhere else in public (or private).
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2/3/17 6:27 pm


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Post bonnie knox
No, you should not have been offended. Your pastor friend was assuring the guy y'all were inviting that he was welcome in your church even if he insisted on not wearing a suit and tie.
And if I were a male pastor and women were coming up to me and telling me they wished their husbands would dress more like me, I think it would make me want to preach in jeans and a t-shirt just to show some solidarity.
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2/3/17 6:41 pm


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