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 Remain unmarried or be reconciled? |
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Lets say there is a couple that goes to your church. They have trouble getting along and get a divorce. They sign the paperwork. There was no adultery involved. You get a chance to talk with one of them about it, and that individual would like to remarry someday. What advice do you give?
A. Reconcile.
B. Stay single.
C. You have the divorce paperwork, so why don't you marry this other eligible divorced, single, or widowed individual in church.
D. I wish you all the best looking for someone else.
E. Something else.
How do these verses apply to the situation?
Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
I Corinthians 7 10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
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2/7/20 11:15 am
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| Re: Remain unmarried or be reconciled? |
UncleJD |
| Link wrote: | Lets say there is a couple that goes to your church. They have trouble getting along and get a divorce. They sign the paperwork. There was no adultery involved. You get a chance to talk with one of them about it, and that individual would like to remarry someday. What advice do you give?
A. Reconcile.
B. Stay single.
C. You have the divorce paperwork, so why don't you marry this other eligible divorced, single, or widowed individual in church.
D. I wish you all the best looking for someone else.
E. Something else.
How do these verses apply to the situation?
Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
I Corinthians 7 10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. |
A and B are the only Biblical options for that scenario. I have a problem with the Church today that would offer any of the others for simply "not getting along". It is un-Christian for anyone to "not get along" much less a husband and wife. They have an obligation to do so (yep, suck it up buttercup), but if they can't then they must remain single. |
Golf Cart Mafia Consigliere
Posts: 3147
2/7/20 11:41 am
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Da Sheik |
| There's not enough info here to give an adequate response. Are both parties still single? Has either party had relations with someone else subsequent to their divorce? If so, then the adultery clause of Matthew 19 would apply here IMHO. |
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Posts: 1865
2/7/20 1:06 pm
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Link |
| Da Sheik wrote: | | There's not enough info here to give an adequate response. Are both parties still single? Has either party had relations with someone else subsequent to their divorce? If so, then the adultery clause of Matthew 19 would apply here IMHO. |
For the sake of keeping things simple, let's just assume that it's just 'not getting along'-- with no sexual immorality. No one is physically abusive. The couple just argued a lot.
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2/8/20 1:58 am
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| The tough question that must be asked in dealing with this |
roughridercog |
How big is the grace of God and how much does it cover with the blood of Jesus Christ?
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2/8/20 11:39 am
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Carolyn Smith |
Jesus said in Matthew 19:8 that divorce was allowed because of the hardness of their hearts. As I heard it say once, what are you doing with a hard heart? That happens over time...
Also...I thought being "put away" was some limbo state but not actually divorced. Anyone know?
I don't think "irreconcilable differences" is a just cause for divorce. Marriage is hard.
I think divorce is a forgivable sin, but it is not God's best for His people.
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Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology
Posts: 5923
2/8/20 11:54 am
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Link |
| Carolyn Smith wrote: | Jesus said in Matthew 19:8 that divorce was allowed because of the hardness of their hearts. As I heard it say once, what are you doing with a hard heart? That happens over time...
Also...I thought being "put away" was some limbo state but not actually divorced. Anyone know? |
Put away... there is a Hebrew word for send away and a Greek word for send away. The context of Matthew 19 refer back to Deuteronomy 24 which has to do with sending away with a certificate in hand. The question the Pharisees asked was about putting/sending the wife away with a certificate.
Putting away a wife without a certificate is not addressed in the Deuteronomy passage under discussion, nor was it in the question the Pharisees raised.
Prior to the birth of Christ, the prince of the people, the most venerated scholar in the Sanhedrin, Hillel, and another highly regarded Shammai had disagreed on a number of issues. Both were Pharisees. Hillel was known for being very patient and a bit more liberal and laid back. Shammai was known for being impatient and strict. Hillel was more friendly toward Gentile conversion to Judaism, too. Hillel was stricter about having meet and dairy on the table at the same time than Shammai, but generally Hillel was more liberal.
On marriage, Shammai believed that a woman had to have done something really bad, the uncleanness in Deuteronomy 24, for a Jew to legally divorce her. Hillel believed she just had to have displeased her husband. She could have burnt the food, for example. A wife, he and his followers believed, could be put away for any cause. So in Matthew 19, they discussed the 'any cause' divorce.
Their go-to word for 'divorce' was their word for 'put away.' They would talk about sending away the wife, but the legal procedure required a certificate.
There is a false teaching going around that ignores history and the actual wording of the passage that Jesus was just saying it was wrong to put away a wife without a certificate.
I would imagine the interpretation of the exception clause would be that a man didn't have to give his wife paperwork if she'd fornicated under that interpretation, but I haven't seen someone promoting this carry this part to its logical conclusion.
| Quote: | I don't think "irreconcilable differences" is a just cause for divorce. Marriage is hard.
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I agree. Jesus' interpretation was much stricter than the Pharisees', which caused His disciples to say if this was the case with a man and his wife it is better for a man not to marry.
The (unbelieving) Judaism that emerged after the destruction of the temple followed Hillel. After the two men died, their schools of thought survived. In the first century, Hillel was dead, and the school of Shammai came to prominence. There were 18 Shammai pronouncments regarding Gentiles.
One of them might have had to do with not going under a Gentile roof, which might have been why Peter called that 'unlawful.' It could have been against a Sanhedrin edict.
Some Shammai followers even assassinated Hillel followers at a Bible study at one point in the first century.
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2/8/20 6:51 pm
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Quiet Wyatt |
| “Just not getting along†is not a legitimate reason for divorce. |
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2/8/20 10:36 pm
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Cojak |
| Link wrote: | | Da Sheik wrote: | | There's not enough info here to give an adequate response. Are both parties still single? Has either party had relations with someone else subsequent to their divorce? If so, then the adultery clause of Matthew 19 would apply here IMHO. |
For the sake of keeping things simple, let's just assume that it's just 'not getting along'-- with no sexual immorality. No one is physically abusive. The couple just argued a lot. |
I have found over time and in MANY CASES that the 'Just not getting along' finally moves into a lot of suffering and then 'legitimate grounds for divorce!'
So if someone can suffer long enough trying to 'make this marriage work' while still not getting along, they will be justified with a Biblical reason. 
But still a real 'crying shame.' 
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2/9/20 2:24 pm
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